Falling

A friend of mine recently took her child to a clinic where she was taught to ride a bike in two hours.  One of the first steps in the process? Learning to fall. Kids fell intentionally, learning that falling did not spell catastrophe or failure -- it was simply part of the learning process. They also learned that there are ways to fall that are less painful than others (ex. into the grass), and that they could get up and keep going after a fall. 

This is a profound life lesson. Falling is part of success.  We can expect it, but not fear it -- it's part of learning, and it does not spell failure. When we pay attention, we discover what makes falling less painful (ex. try being more kind to yourself when you're down?), and we practice getting back on the bike as soon as we're ready.  We learn that falls don't define our identity.  They are simply part of life, part of learning, part of success, part of mastery.  If we're going to live life, we're going to fall. 

So go for it! Go out and fall, ready to learn and grow in the process, ready to try new things, ready to be a human being, just like the rest of us. Have some band-aids ready for those scraped knees, and then hop on that wobbly bike. 

Struggling to get up after you fall?  Here are some tips to ponder as you practice falling:

• Your fall is not your identity.  It's just a passing experience. 
• Once you've fallen, the fall is over.  Place your attention in the moment, in the now. 
• After your fall, check in with how you're doing.  Are you hurting anywhere, physically or emotionally?  Do you need some first-aid (physically or emotionally)?  It's normal to feel hurt after a fall. That's what those band-aids are for.
• Use your fall to learn where the softest landings are. Perhaps your falls are softened with a call to a friend, a time of meditation, a bubble bath, or a hike in the woods. Notice what helps you stand up, brush off, and get back on your bike. 
  
• Notice any unrealistic expectations ("I should be able to ride a bike without falling"), and practice laying them aside.  Let your experience be your experience, just as it is -- no judgment needed. 
• Give yourself active encouragement. That 5-year-old wobbling a first bike all over the sidewalk is doing one of the bravest things that a person can do, and you would offer praise to reward the effort and progress -- can you give yourself the same kind of cheerleading? Especially after a fall?
  
• Falling is one of life's great gifts. (I didn't make that up. Honest.) Your fall is a golden opportunity to learn and grow. Be curious about the growth, and stay open to any goodness that comes out of the experience.

Enjoy the ride! 

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