Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is the belief that you are not qualified for your work, even when other people think you are - the belief that if others discover that you don't have what it takes to meet expectations competently, they will be disappointed and you will be shamed. Some groups at particular risk of Imposter Syndrome include first-generation college students, graduate students, minority group members, high achievers, and young women in the workforce. But any of us can fall prey to this anxious condition, and Christian mindfulness can offer relief. Here are some steps to follow:

Collect feedback and facts
Opening ourselves up to the truth can be the hardest thing to do, both when it comes to our strengths and our weaknesses - it feels vulnerable. But this is just what you'll need to do to build a rational framework for addressing Imposter Syndrome anxiety. Start by asking yourself (and/or others) these questions:

• What are the expectations of my job? Is there evidence that I am meeting those?
• What kind of feedback have I received regarding my performance, both praise and areas for improvement?
• What is the next thing I would like to learn in my role, and how can I go about doing that?
• What are some rational, positive self-statements about my work? Examples include “everybody feels unsure about their abilities sometimes" and "it’s okay not to be an expert yet.”

Write down the specific answers to these questions. Consider including feedback from others who know your work well - your boss, your professor,  a coworker, or a customer. No interpretation, arguing, or minimizing here - keep your observations as factual as possible.

Now it's time to create some observational distance.

Notice thoughts
Here is where mindfulness kicks in. Read over the feedback and facts you wrote down and start to pay attention to the thoughts that arise in your mind while you read. With an objective and curious awareness, begin a list of these thoughts. Examples might include thoughts like “I have no idea what I’m doing," “they don’t know the whole story,” or “that was so dumb of me.” You might notice pleasant thoughts here too, such as "that was really nice of my boss to say” or “maybe they liked what I did.”

Whatever the thoughts are, without judgment, write them down and cultivate an attitude of light-hearted (even amused) attentiveness as you read them over. To cultivate observational distance, it might help to imagine that someone else wrote this thought list and you are simply reading it over with curiosity. In this step, you are becoming more aware of your thought cycles, the mental architecture that is driving your emotions and perceptions of your competence.

Notice feelings
Now, it’s time to recognize some feelings. Put your writing aside and take a moment to close your eyes, sit in silence, and feel the emotional reaction to what you have written down.

• Settle into your body. Become aware of your breath, and notice physical sensations throughout the body (including the skin’s contact with surfaces and clothing).
• As you become aware of body and breath, ask yourself “what is my emotion right now?” When you notice you have slid back into thoughts, bring your awareness gently back to the felt sense of emotions once again. Tip: You’ll know you’re identifying emotions instead of thoughts if your answers are coming as single words and there aren’t very many of them (ex. worried, embarrassed, happy). Sentences like "I feel like I don't know what I'm doing" are actually thoughts rather than feelings.
• Once you’ve formed a clear picture of the emotions associated with your imposter fear, write those down.

So now you have three lists:

1. performance feedback and facts
2. thoughts driving your imposter syndrome, and
3. related emotions.

Set these lists before God with curiosity and openness to what He might do with them. Then give yourself time - lots of time - to observe these three areas day-in and day-out. Keep writing down your observations in each of these areas, and keep setting these before God to see how He might speak into them.

As you’re ready, consider adding one of these more formal mindfulness practices into your routine:

• Sitting Practice: Strengthen awareness of unhelpful thought cycles in order to loosen their grip. Expand your awareness of experiences beyond your thinking. Cultivate a sense of God’s presence and provision as you sit in silence. “The Lord will fight for you, you have only to keep still" (Exodus 14:14).
• Lovingkindness Practice: Pray for good things for yourself, for others, and for the world. Gently move your attention from judgmental self-orbit into kindness toward yourself and others. Recognize any moments of personal suffering with compassion and acceptance - life is hard, and it’s okay to be having a hard time.
  
• Savor the good: In this sister practice to mindfulness, give yourself at least 30 seconds each day to experience the goodness of something in your work. Did you feel good about a sentence you wrote for that paper or report? Did a professor or boss express appreciation in some way? Was there something new you learned, or a moment where you felt competent? Allow your mind to rest on that experience and absorb the positive emotions that come with it. This creates new pathways of happiness in your brain, with direct ties to your work.

Along the way, engage in active beginner’s mind. This means a recognition that you (like all of us) come to each moment as a beginner. None of us can be a true expert in anything, since every moment in this vast, mysterious universe is brand new to us. Only God truly understands it all - we are free to be small and dependent learners during our short time here on earth. How freeing!

You don’t need to change your feelings or fears to move out of Imposter Syndrome, you only need to cultivate observational distance from those feelings and fears while also cultivating awareness of deeper truths. You are learning, just like the rest of us. You will make mistakes, and those will be opportunities for more growth and transformation. God has given you abilities and passions, and he will use those to accomplish his work in the world. You need only bring what you have and he will take care of the rest.